I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
