it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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