they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
a search helicopter?!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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