i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
