youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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