I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize