They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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