Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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