Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
