now i know why i became what i already was.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
