I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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