Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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