anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
