I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
