but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
