Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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