It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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