Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
