worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
