If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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