just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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