As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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