Buhtt sex?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
