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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you definitely held a convo with a hobo

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we have a secret handshake

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten

  (301): View more from Maryland

  so glad i banged her when she was skinny

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..

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• (904): View more from Florida

  That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.

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• (310): View more from California

  I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.

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• (310): View more from California

  get your sex hands out of my capn crunch

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.

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• (310): View more from California

  She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed

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