every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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