O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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