obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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