YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
