It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
40s are totally the cure
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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