So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
