She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
