PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
