i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Hippo gnu deer
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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