Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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