hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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