Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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