the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
