Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
