batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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