we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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