i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
