Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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