I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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