All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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