I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I skipped work to stalk him.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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