need another drink. this is the easiest way
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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