I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
