I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
