you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
