Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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