I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
