he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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