It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize