So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
