woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
