I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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