She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
