If that was your dad, he is hot
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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