why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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