Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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