final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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