we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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