When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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