Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Randomize
